No visual updates so let's go into the Main Dish.
(Disclaimer: It's somewhat a continuation from the previous post)
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It's true.
Just those few are enough.
You know how sometimes in life you just wanna be in the centre of attraction/attention, and be noticed by the crowd? And perhaps be famous and get recognised everywhere, be it on the streets or online? I know we've all been through those kind of stages in life and I hate to admit this but I really love attention.
I crave for attention so bad that I tend to lose myself along the way. I try to act like the popular people I see on Instagram, try to do what they do without thinking whether it's something I actually feel is morally right for myself.
And then you meet these 2 faced people all over the world who apparently have the power to bring up your "fame" level, and you find yourself having to force yourself to fit in and follow whatever they do, even if it's something that breaches your own modesty or takes your true identity away from you.
When this happens, you realise the people you consciously decide to stick close to end up being the ones who don't fulfil your emotional needs, and don't understand you at all. What they think they know about you is at least 99.0% fake and they don't give 2 shits when something happens to you. They just quietly leave like mice.... wearing their A-Grade designer creepers or something.
You find yourself meeting people who make use of you for their own personal benefits and pleasure. As much as you'd like to believe that there are still some genuine people out there; once you try to be "popz", nothing is ever real. You yourself turn into a plastic doll morphed out of envy, jealousy and curiosity.
Let's say you meet someone whom you perhaps consider as a potential date/other half, and you meet this person. This person seems so interested in you.. entertaining you almost 24/7 and replying your texts promptly every single time. Seems concerned about you everytime something happens or cares for you and asks the little things like "Have you eaten", "What are you doing today", "Are you feeling okay?".. and you find yourself stuck in a web of confusion. Should you trust that person?
If you're reading this right now and thinking, "wtf are you saying, that person is definitely trustworthy", then you're precisely the person I'm trying to reach out to. Think twice, if not thrice, whether this person is truly out there to care for you. By now you probably already trust this person so much that when the time comes, you'd be crushed to bits. I'm not saying that all people are like these, but majority of the seemingly "popz" people are going to be like this. And those "popz" people are gonna have their own little group of friends that they run to when their walls come crashing down. This is when you realise that those fake friends don't actually give a damn about you.
But it's those few friends who stick by you no matter what, through thick and thin, bullshit and celebratory occasions that help you to stay rooted to the ground and remind you of who you really are and why you should be appreciative of yourself.
I guess a few of my friends today realised that I was a little upset and they said these things:
There will always be that group of people who really care for you and would do anything to defend you and keep you happy, without forgetting to remind you of the harsh truths of life. Sure, they might be painful, but it's for your own good.
Better to suck it up and have a better future than to regret something for life right?
These people are the ones who made me stop caring about the haters, and appreciate myself more. Honestly if I cared 2 hoots about any form of haters I would probably be so depressed by now. But, HAHAHA
Just those little questions that they asked, made me so happy. And the fact that they really go out of their way to advise you and cheer you up, is admirable and proves that they are keepers as friends. I really really really feel so glad and lucky to have them in my life!!!! *major bear hug*
Honestly, "I'm always here for you" is such a beautiful sentence. Same goes for "I'll never leave you", but they've been abused way too many times. The people who have kept to their words are such amazing individuals and deserve so so so so so so much love.
I really wish to thank all the people have always tried to cheer me up and keep me happy, including some people whom I have not mentioned above via screenshots. You guys are the reason why I'm able to smile today. This feels like a prize receiving speech HAHAHA but you guys are really like precious prizes to me sent from heaven
I would like to reiterate the fact that I am not the best friend that anyone could have. In fact, I am the worst. I always tend to MIA whenever I meet new groups of people, and I'm admitting this now because I do feel remorseful for it. I'm always tied up by my hectic schedule, that sometimes even though I have free days, I just wanna be alone at home and rot all day.
Not forgetting the fact that I AM SUCH A HORRIBLE TEXTER I literally have no idea how I could get lazy and not reply people for days.. But I really really do need people by my side. I'm such an unfair person it really sucks so I don't know how people would even want to stay friends with me, or even start being friends with me for that matter
I will start changing myself in some ways. I have to.. Those traits that bring pain to others, I will do my best to get rid of them. But if it's something that doesn't affect you.. I don't see why you should be sending me hate or judging me for it.
Perhaps I'm tryna act like some famous person on Instagram, or change into something I never was.. but right now if I'm really happy about it and I feel that it's right, I don't think anyone's gonna be able to stop me. I know I sound rather self-contradicting especially with what I said in my first few paragraphs, but all I'm saying is
Regardless of what you do, always know who your real friends are and never ever ditch them.
True Friends > Fame Seeking Buddies
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